토익스피킹 문제 11 첨삭 부탁드립니다.

I think Exercise outdoors is better than Gym with equipment.
There are some reasons to support my opinion.
First, Many people in there days are edited to their smart phone.
They spend most of their time using your smart phone.
So, They don’t go outside.
So, If they go to outside and exercise, It will improve their health.
Second, Many people get stress from their work.
So, If you get the fresh air and activity outdoors, They can leave their stress less.
So,I think exercise outdoors is better than gym with equipment.
That’s what I think.
※ 이 게시글은 토익스피킹 점수예측서비스 참여자 답변에 대한 1:1 첨삭입니다





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