아이들은 긴 시간 휴식 시간을 가지는게 좋다
these days they don't have time to reduce their stress
to be specific they want to have long break time such as visiting different countries
it will be lead to student growth
second these days they are immature and out of control
to be specific they dont know the importance of break
and they don't know what is right and what is wrong
so it will be neccesary for children
so i think
to be specific they want to have long break time such as visiting different countries
it will be lead to student growth
second these days they are immature and out of control
to be specific they dont know the importance of break
and they don't know what is right and what is wrong
so it will be neccesary for children
so i think
Children need to take a long break.
This is because children these days do not have the time to reduce stress.
Children can relieve their stress by having a long break, such as having a favorite hobby or traveling to another country, but there is no time for that.
A life without rest will degrade children's physical and mental growth. Children who do not get enough rest will not be able to have normal thinking, and will become immature and out of control.
Sufficient rest will further activate the brain, which will greatly affect the proper growth of children.
This is because children these days do not have the time to reduce stress.
Children can relieve their stress by having a long break, such as having a favorite hobby or traveling to another country, but there is no time for that.
A life without rest will degrade children's physical and mental growth. Children who do not get enough rest will not be able to have normal thinking, and will become immature and out of control.
Sufficient rest will further activate the brain, which will greatly affect the proper growth of children.
-> 생각에 대한 근거가 다소 부족하며, 어색한 문장이 있어 전반적인 수정이 필요했습니다. 질문에 대한 조금 더 구체적인 예시가 필요할 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다.
0
