해커스토익스피킹 점수예측서비스 Q11 첨삭부탁드립니다.

I think it is better to exercise in a gym with equipment is better.

Let me explain why I think this way.

First, in the rainy day, I can exercise on rainy days.

I can’t exercise outdoors in on rainy days.

So, it is better to exercise in a gym with equipment.

-> 같은 내용이 반복적으로 사용되므로 생략하시는 게 좋을 것 같습니다.

  

Second, There are various exercise many equipment in a gym.

-> 문장구조를 바꾸는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다.

So, I can try a lot of new exercises. exercise a lot and new things. 

I can learn how to exercise with equipment.

Therefore, I think it is better to exercise in a gym with equipment is better.

※ 이 게시글은 토익스피킹 점수예측서비스 참여자 답변에 대한 1:1 첨삭입니다.