토스/오픽 첨삭게시판글쓰기목록보기인기글보기

RE:토익스피킹 첨삭답변드립니다.
첨삭지기 | 2024.01.26 | 조회 58
해커스토익스피킹 점수예측서비스 문제 첨삭부탁드립니다.

I think it’s better to exercise in a gym with equipment.
Let me explain why i think this way.
Most of all we can focus on exercise. our exercising.
From my experience, About two weeks ago, I visited visits a gym with my friend 
It was very helpful for us.
Because there are were many different kinds of exercise equipment exercising machines ex like a treadmill.
So we could focus on exercise.our exercising.
On top of them In addition,according to a reason to a news report 
the majority of people in Korea say that it’s better to exercise in a gym with equipment.
Because they think they can focus on exercise in a gym with equipment. their exercising.
For this reason, I think it’s better to exercise in a gym with equipment.

-> 문법적으로 사소한 실수가 발견되어 수정이 필요했습니다. 
또한 비슷한 이야기가 반복되기 때문에 조금 더 다양한 근거가 필요할 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다. 

※ 이 게시글은 토익스피킹 점수예측서비스 참여자 답변에 대한 1:1 첨삭입니다.
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